The world is moving so fast that it’s difficult to keep pace. We all stuck up somewhere and start feeling that our relationship is not working anymore. You feel as if the flame of love has extinguished. Or love is there but it doesn’t excite you anymore. Well, you may be missing out few simple tricks to keep moving on the right track. Try the following behaviors to keep the flame of love burning and you will feel the change yourself.
Cultivate your own interests
Have you have felt that too much obsession and fixation with your partner has an opposite effect? If you have then trust me you have felt it right. Your partner doesn’t want you to be sticky all the time as if you are nothing but a lonely creature that has no interests or activities and all. Albert Einstein rightly said “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” For, be in a relationship doesn’t mean that you should not be doing you own things. That’s why Solomon says:
“People become passive in their relationships when they become disengaged, and one of the main reasons they become disengaged is because they’re not satisfied with their own lives.”
You should have some interests you feel passionate about individually, and it’s not necessary that your partner share those interests. For example you like hiking, go out and hike with friends, so when you come back home you’ll be energize and motivated. In this way when you are satisfied individually with your life you can become a better partner.
Include the element of surprise
The best thing in the world is being surprised by your partner. Think for a moment if your partner surprises you by coming on your friend’s wedding when he actually told you that he wouldn’t come. Obviously you will love it. The element of surprise in your relationship triggers dopamine and oxytocin (Hormones that make you excited) in your brain by incorporating novelty, excitement, and surprise into your not-so-new-anymore relationship. Samuel Johnson said:
“Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.”
Watch out your partner’s passions
You should know well about your partner’s passion. This is the key to remain engaged in the relationship for a longer period of time. Have you ever read a short story ‘The Kite’ by Somerset Maugham, in which the protagonist of the story gives divorce to his wife because ‘She smashed his kite’? As he was very passionate about kite flying he couldn’t stand by the fact that his own wife kind of tried to deprive him of his passion-K-I-T-E. So, take care of your partner’s passion even if you hate it yourself. Remember your partner is an individual don’t try to impose yourself on him/her. Show respect and give space. Somerset Maugham said: “Passion doesn’t count the cost”. So if you will try to force your partner to leave his/her passions aside you may be asking for too much!!. Rethink.
Do something together
You must have heard it numbers of times that ‘Birds of feather folk together’. We all like people we can relate to, with whom we share some similarities. Therefore, the golden rule is to figure out few things that interests both of you. And do that thing together whenever you get time. For instance, if both of you like playing badminton, play it together. The idea is to involve each other and feel connected in stronger way. If, you do some household work together that is another way to feel associated. For, it gives you a great sense of doing things together and reminds you of your relationship. Ricardo Montalban stated:
‘True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together’.
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